guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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