apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
