Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
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found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?