come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
