i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
