so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
