why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
