she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
