When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
