Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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