She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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