So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
