Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
