dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
