shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's never too late to be topless.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
