You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
