Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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