ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize