I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
