Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
