That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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