how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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