I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
