Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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