u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
