holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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