3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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