I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
