I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
