how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She announced her abortion via fbk
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
