I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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