TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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