He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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