I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
