Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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