I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
