I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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