can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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