Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
