I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
