We won't sleep together?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
