If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
