I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
