Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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