After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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