i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
