and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
