Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
