Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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