in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
