Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
