Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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