garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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