i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
