I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize