You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
