well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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