Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
