I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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