why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
even my farts smell like vagina
this boner is exhausting
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
